From now on, anyone who tells me: “Are you insane?” I will be able to answer, proudly: “No, I am not mad, I’ve been tested!”. J
Well, today I spent 4 ½ hours at a DETRAN’s “clinic” (equivalent to the DVLA in the UK) to assess if I am fit to drive.
Along with the usual eye test, and medical test (close your eyes, touch the tip of your nose with your left then right index) and in addition to being finger printed again and again, I had to do a psycho test for about 2h.
Everyone has to do it to be fair, not only me (in case you wonder!!!!!). The Brazilians have to do it every 5 years. For foreigners, we need to do that to get our foreign licence replaced by a local one, and be allowed to drive in Brazil.
Well, what can I say! “What a load of crap!”. I suppose this is a way to create non-jobs and keep people employed who otherwise would be unemployed. The Brazilian govt is good at that! Which explains the massive amount of taxes and VAT we pay here.
The 1st test, we had to draw a continuous line passing along black obstacles. You are not supposed to touch the black obstacles. Okeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey……………
Then, there was a string of little triangles in a full A4 sheet. We were supposed to draw a tiny dot inside each, without touching the edges. Hmmm…….
Then memorise 3 little triangles (one black pointing right, one white pointing left, one white with a spot inside pointing down). You have a full page of triangles and 2minutes. Cross the ones that are similar to the 3 I described. Dohhhhhhhhh……..
Then memorise 16 faces with their names. You have 2 minutes. Turn the page and you have 32 faces to recognise from the list, selecting the correct name. Hmmm… my memory is not that great, combined with Brazilian names….. I got 50%.
Next draw little sticks, as many as you can in line, as straight as you can. Somehow this is supposed to say a lot about your personality! Yep! I can draw sticks!
Last but not least: 20 minutes “intelligence” test. 40 questions.
You have a horse drawing in a page. The tail is missing. Multiple choice answers with various horse's body parts. What should you tick? Hint: not the head!
You have 3 ducks and a 4th empty box. Multiple choice. What should you tick? The dog? Wrong answer. You have to select the duck!
You have 2 triangles, then under it you have one circle, next? What is the missing one? A circle, triangle, square….? Hu… let me think!
About 30 of those questions were so obvious that I suspect even my dog would score 30/30! (Mind you he can be smart, especially when food is involved!).
The last 10 required, ohhh, about 2 seconds to think about it. 2 left me totally puzzled.
So there you go. If you had any doubts, don’t anymore! I was declared sane and fit to drive :). Which is lucky, as I just paid in full for my bike and will go down to Barra to pick it up tomorrow morning! I am ecstatic!
And no, I did not buy the little Honda in the end. You will have to wait to see my new beauty. I give you a clue though! It is a 650cc parallel twin! Guessed yet?