My new Beauty!!!!!!!!!!

Kawasaki er-6n! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't she a beauty? And Fast! Faster than the Versys and more responsive!

I'm not mad! I've been tested....

From now on, anyone who tells me: “Are you insane?” I will be able to answer, proudly: “No, I am not mad, I’ve been tested!”. J

Well, today I spent 4 ½ hours at a DETRAN’s “clinic” (equivalent to the DVLA in  the UK) to assess if I am fit  to drive.

Along with the usual eye test, and medical test (close your eyes, touch the tip of your nose with your left then right index) and in addition to being finger printed again and again, I had to do a psycho test for about 2h.

Everyone has to do it to be fair, not only me (in case you wonder!!!!!). The Brazilians have to do it every 5 years. For foreigners, we need to do that to get our foreign licence replaced by a local one, and be allowed to drive in Brazil.

Well, what can I say! “What a load of crap!”. I suppose this is a way to create non-jobs and keep people employed who otherwise would be unemployed. The Brazilian govt is good at that! Which explains the massive amount of taxes and VAT we pay here.

The 1^st test,  we had to draw a continuous line passing along black obstacles. You are not supposed to touch the black obstacles. Okeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey……………

Then, there was a string of little triangles in a full A4 sheet. We were supposed to draw a tiny dot inside each, without touching the edges. Hmmm…….

Then memorise 3 little triangles (one black pointing right, one white pointing left, one white with a spot inside pointing down). You have a full page of triangles and 2minutes. Cross the ones that are similar to the 3 I described. Dohhhhhhhhh……..

Then memorise 16 faces with their names. You have 2 minutes. Turn the page and you have 32 faces to recognise from the list, selecting the correct name. Hmmm… my memory is not that great, combined with Brazilian names….. I got 50%.

Next draw little sticks, as many as you can in line, as straight as you can. Somehow this is supposed to say a lot about your personality! Yep! I can draw sticks!

Last but not least: 20 minutes “intelligence” test. 40 questions.

You have a horse drawing in a page. The tail is missing. Multiple choice answers with various horse's body parts. What should you tick? Hint: not the head!

You have 3 ducks and a 4^th empty box. Multiple choice. What should you tick? The dog? Wrong answer. You have to select the duck!

You have 2 triangles, then under it you have one circle, next? What is the missing one? A circle, triangle, square….? Hu… let me think!

About 30 of those questions were so obvious that I suspect even my dog would score 30/30! (Mind you he can be smart, especially when food is involved!).

The last 10 required, ohhh, about 2 seconds to think about it. 2 left me totally puzzled.

So there you go. If you had any doubts, don’t anymore! I was declared sane and fit to drive :). Which is lucky, as I just paid in full for my bike and will go down to Barra to pick it up tomorrow morning! I am ecstatic!

And no, I did not buy the little Honda in the end. You will have to wait to see my new beauty. I give you a clue though! It is a 650cc parallel twin! Guessed yet? 

Taking a psycho test!

We went  to DETRAN this morning (a bit like the DVLA in the UK), to do the paper work so we can exchange our UK driving licences for brazilian ones. That's the law, we have 6 months from the date of our permanent visa to swap them.

Now, the next step is a medical (eye test) and psycho test! Apparently  the locals have to do the psycho test every 5 years.
No sh*t Sherlock! Of course they have to. You have to be a complete psychopath to drive in Rio by the look of it!

Anyway, I am booked at a Detran's clinic for Friday 8am. I have been told I may be there until 12:30! Oh dear, that is going to be interesting!
Oh yes and the test will be in Portuguese, no translation... hmm....

I keep you posted!

My dog is on Prozac!

Well, something had to change. The dog is over a year old now, but so incredibly clingy that he cannot bear to stay alone at home. His behaviour was starting  to get destructive, we had to do something.
Either find someone who can help fix this issue, or we would not be able to keep him.

Scruffy had to go the vet after cutting his foot on something last Thursday. so, once at INPA (in Copacabana- rua Santa Clara- warmly recommended!), I discussed with Cesar, Scruffy's regular vet, about his behaviour. Cesar recommended a vet who visits INPA on Fridays mornings, Joao is a dog behaviorist. So I booked the dog in and next morning, with Alistair, we were at INPA again.

We had a long chat with Joao. It seems the dog still behaves like a puppy. When they are adults, they should be able to mind their own business and stay on their own, not follow us everywhere. This behaviour is common with adopted dogs. So we need to start some training, but also deal with his separation anxieties crisis when left alone. Medication helps a lot.

So the vet prescribed anti-depressions tablets and some beta blockers that seem to slow down the heart beat.
I never took beta blockers but in my 15 years in Investment banking I have been through 2 phases of such high stress that I had terrible panic attacks, non stop weeping, shaking, not able to sleep etc... I just got to a  stage where I could not cope with the job. And on those 2 occasions, I took anti-depressions tablets. I must admit it did the job of reducing and dealing with the panic attacks and gave me the time I needed to continue working while looking for another job. Eventually, on both occasions, I left the bank. There is only so much sh*t you can take!

So I can see how these tablets can help the dog cope with his crisis. When he loses sight of us in the park, we can see him almost panicking until he see us again....

Since he has been taking his tablets he seems much quieter and seems able to sleep on his bed while I am in another room. that is progress. Usually he follows me everywhere all the time, including the toilets or even when I take a shower!

We will see how it goes. We have tablets for 2 months. In 2 1/2 weeks we are off 3 weeks to the USA, where we have arranged to book 2 motorbikes. We plan to ride in North Colorado, Wyoming and Montana. it should be awesome! Fantastic mountains rides in the area.

So the dog will go the his usual kennel but will continue his treatment. When we are back we will see the vet again.

I hope he will get fixed. We cannot keep a destructive dog in a rented flat otherwise!

Back from Europe.. and ready to ride!

Nice bike! Alistair could not resist and got himself a V-Strom few weeks ago, despite having no MC gear at all. He had to rush to buy a helmet!

For me, I was desperate to get a bike....
Well, I went to Europe and when I came back, our container had finally arrived! With all our motorcycle gear!
So off we went with Alistair's bike to Barra, investigate the local dealers! And I found the One! I emailed all the docs required and pay a reserve fee yesterday. I should get my brand new bike early June!

Just need to wait now and keep patient by riding pillion!


To keep me sane there are 2 bikes event coming.

The first one is an "International"  gathering on 3rd, 4th and 5th of August in Penedo, organised by the Penedo Motorcycle Club ( http://www.penedoridersmc.com.br/ ).

I sent an email asking if we need to register to assist. I wrote in English as it is an "international" meeting!  I explained our motorcycle background and many travels. They answered using Google translate telling me we would be welcome and to let them know where we would be staying as they want to interview us for the local newspaper! It seems our travels have impressed someone! Hehehe!

The second event is organised by myself. I am setting up the 1st "Horizon Unlimited" Meeting in Saquarema (RJ) on 14th, 15th and 16th of September. If you are passionate about Motorcycle travelling, be it in your backyard or around the world, come and join us. Details in the HUBB:

http://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/hu-travellers-meetings-other-parts/brazil-hu-1st-mini-meet-63047

Let me know if you are joining us as I need to have an idea of numbers!

That's all for now!

I leave you with a couple of pictures of Scruffy in his new rain coat! See the little hood!

The art of war!

Well this is war, as simple as that!

3 weeks after I treated the dog with Frontline, the dog was still full of fleas. I treated again with the same remedy, only to find that 2 days later they were all happily partying on his belly. I was horrified.

I could not blame Frontline as I brought it with me from the UK, last January. So it is not a fake copy.

I thought maybe fleas in this country have some sort of superpowers? After all when you see the size of the cockroaches (almost big enough to have a mouse for breakfast!) you can understand my doubts!

Always the proactive one, I got into the Gringoes’ forum to explain my predicament and ask if this is normal. (And yes there is such a thing as a Gringo forum: www.gringoes.com).

After various answers I realised that, no, fleas here don’t have superpowers and that I most certainly have an infestation. I then proceeded to go my local “petshop” where they sell all sort of products and pet food and explain my problem. I was explained that I needed to disinfect the flat and floor boards as well as treat the dog.

Back home with a product called Fortis, I dilute it in a bucket and I disinfect the whole flat: mop the floors, spray the sofa and carpet and wash all the pet beddings with an anti-fleas shampoo. I also bath the dog in the same anti fleas shampoo.

I believe if you are going to strike, you have to strike so strongly that whatever you strike at won’t come back to bite you. Ever. That is my take on “the art of War”. Hit once, and hit VERY hard! So there. I’ve been hitting pretty hard, surely the dog won’t have any fleas left?

2 days later a close inspection shows fleas still partying on the dog belly (he has very little fur there so easy to spot them!). Argh! I go back to the petshop and explain my predicament again. The shop  hasn’t got any solution of Fortis so she gives me a bottle of Triatox.

Back home I look at it but the leaflet is written with such small letters that I can’t read it. Even with glasses! I manage to decipher that I need to dilute 10ml into 5 litres of water and proceed to do just that in a bucket. Without gloves. Or goggles. Or any protective stuff. I pour a liquid into a measuring cup and put in a bucket, pouring a vast quantity into my hands.  After dilution I put some of it into a spray bottle. I spray all the sofa and carpet again and wash the floors.

The dog has another bath with that solution (diluted as 10ml in 10 litres) and I wash again all his bedding with some of this solution.

Few days later another inspection of his bedding show tale tell signs of flea’s dropping. I grab the dog and check him again. There, dirt flea in his bottom and one flea wandering around!  Damn it! Scruffy fleas definitely have super powers, no way!

I use a cloth dipped into diluted Triatox to rub the dog with it. Flea dead. Once again all bedding is being disinfected. And flat.

I will win this war. I hope the dog can make it though!

(Polite notice: no pet was not harmed in the process ok? Don’t send me complaints emails! Find your sense of humour! )

As for me I’m not so sure! Not using gloves when pouring the concentrated solution into a bucket was not a good idea. AS not wearing a surgical mask to spread. It happens that Triatox is highly toxic and used on cattle and pigs! I’m pretty sure this would not be sold over the counter in Europe!

On the plus side, there is not risk of me of getting any fleas any  time soon, that must have treated me for life!

On a totally different topic: our container.

If you remember, the packers came, at end of June, last year, to take away all our stuff. Then the container was stuck in the UK, waiting for our “permanent “ visa to be granted. At the end of January this was done. By mid-February, the container left the UK and arrived at Santos on 3^rd of March. After a month it went through Santos custom, only  to be told by the shipping agent  that the container would need clearance from Rio customs too! Why? No clue!

Anyhow, on the 2d of April the container arrived in Rio and we continued waiting.

And finally, at last, some good news! Rio’s customs has put us on a fast track (!) as we had already be cleared in Santos, and they only took  2 weeks to inspect our stuff. We had confirmation yesterday that we are allowed to get it! Not that the stuff is on its way just yet! But at least we can hope to get it by end of this month? Please? Maybe?

So in total, 10 months to London/Rio. One year and 1 month after Alistair arrived. Don’t we love Brazilian bureaucracy? ;-)

What sort of business is that?

Things have turned a bit surreal with the neighbour upstairs.

Few weeks ago he did lots of “home improvement” or work by the sound of it! Since then we have not heard the “printing press noise”. What we hear now is from  the bathroom: constant water running down a big fat toilet pipe coming from the upstairs’ flat, and running through our en-suite bathroom (Brazilian plumbing!!!!) . Sometimes it stops but most of the time the water is running pretty much all the time.

So there it is, the guy upstairs is not printing false money anymore (or whatever his dodgy business was!) he has changed his business model!

I mentioned it to my friend Nayla (one of my neighbour) and she reported back to me after the “condominio” meeting.

Apparently there is a massive increase in the water bill. It went up from 5,000 reais monthly to over 9,000 and climbing! Nayla mentioned at the meeting about the water running nonstop. Now we do not have individual water metres so the bill is shared by all.

I could have predicted what would happen next.

First the lady in charge of the “condominio” put a notice about this but no one reported a leak. Then they decided to inspect the 2 flats above mine. Obviously dodgy neighbour refused to let anyone in. After putting pressure from the owner of the building he agreed. By then the water running stopped. After checking his flat the building’s taff said the noise I heard was from a washing machine. Yeah right! 24h, 7 day a week nonstop full blast water running!

And predictably as well, soon after the flat inspection, the water running noise started again.

Now I ask the question: what sort of business uses so much water?  I am wondering if it could be related to drugs. After all, now that the local favela Rocinha has been cleaned and local super villain Nem recently put in jail (he got caught fleeing Rocinha hiding in the boot of an Angolan diplomatic car – you could not make it up!!) there must be a gap in the market for supply of drugs!?

I vaguely remember a documentary  about the Amazon forest and the cocaine production. Did it use lots of water? Anyone specialised in Cocaine production please kindly let me know. We could be onto something here J.

I am afraid I am rather ignorant of that stuff! I am old school, my only drug is booze!

On another totally unrelated subject I am pleased to report that Alistair bought a V-Strom! (That’s a bike for those not on the know!).

 

For me, we went to BMW dealer in Barra yesterday , and stuffed our face with free cakes, sandwiches and coffee (hehehhe!!) , but came out empty handed. I had my eyes on the G650GS because they offer a very low seat for vertically challenged people like me! Bad news is that despite what it says in the Brazil website, BMW do not offer that choice in Brazil and when I sat on the bike it was too high for me. Can’t be bothered to lower it. So BMW is out!

I will make my way to the local Honda dealer and I think I will get the much cheaper and smaller CB300 with a full tank of 18.4l! Cool baby!

 

Now I just need to get my container (still detained by custom) and get my riding gear so we can actually pick up our bikes!

Soon we will start our road adventures!  The Franglais-riders are back J! Well almost, depend on Custom! L